Good morning!  Miss me?!  Don’t answer that…but, I did decide that after a long hiatus from this month’s blogging regime that it is prudent to return.  Why the absence?  No great reason, but it’s  attributed to the detox: Lack of motivation.  I have been underground for the past week or so.  Digging my heels in deep.  I will be the first to admit that this detox (one of many I’ve partaken in over the years) has been a doozie.  As I mentioned in earlier posts, I always encourage taking the detox down below the surface to truly develop a better philosophy about the connectivity of our habits.  Reason being is that by changing a habit or pattern that no longer serves a positive purpose we are essentially changing us.  Hopefully, becoming a better version of ourselves.

All that said, only 6 more days to go until 31 days of sugar/alcohol detox is complete.  During this month there has been abstinence from all added sugars, white flours and any sort of alcohol.  The ups and downs physically have been more interesting this go around as it seems my body was very, very ready for said detox.  I literally have felt my worst over the last 3 weeks.  The first week was more shock — lots o’ constipation and headaches.  Mind you, my staple diet is already low sugar (my addiction was treats and wine/beer) but I was in the midst of withdrawals.  In addition, the amount of TIRED I felt was unbelievable.  I truly believe my habits had created a pattern that was not conducive to quality shut-eye. Deep, deep sleep — with long sleep hours — and wicked dreams.  Very vivid — you know, the kind you wake up and think, ‘Was that real?’  I must admit I did appreciate those detox side-effects.

The next couple weeks became mundane, and I settled into pure avoidance.  It was not necessarily difficult — it just ‘was’.  But, what I did find was that I was still GOD-AWFUL tired.  I found myself lacking the motivation to incorporate the consistent exercise I wanted to and just hunkered down after work with my tea for a couple of hours before hitting the hay.  At first it just didn’t make sense to me.  Why was I soooooooooooooooooooooooo tired?  It just makes sense now to understand my body is in recuperation.  Plain and simple.

This last week what I am discovering goes deeper.  I am pleasantly surprised I lost inches (I refuse to weigh myself) although I still don’t feel great and am moving towards more rehabilitation that has included more medical massage and weekly trips to the chiropractor to address subluxation in my neck, spine and pelvis that I have inadvertently ignored up until now.  With the focus on one change (sugar/alcohol) I have been able to now direct my focus to other areas needing change.  I am also focusing on the changes in my head (theme: connectivity) and I have found myself regurgitating thoughts and emotions that perhaps had lay dormant.  It has been very interesting the amount of ‘fog’ I have felt.  Forgetting common words, having partial speech impediments at time when conversing, and overall just not being able to fixate on words that come into my brain.  As per Alzheimer’s being labeled Diabetes 3 — I get it.  I really think I have leeched unwanted substances from my brain.  If Alzheimer’s is not a reason to take sugar seriously…it’s time to prioritize.

It’s all connected — both figuratively and literally.

Here’s the kicker — while it seems in the past I would be looking forward to the celebratory cocktail or decadent dessert (watch it…it may make you feel awful) come February 1, I am honestly very nervous. Why?  Mostly because after years of such detoxes — finding so much benefit each time I complete abstinence — I wonder why it hasn’t stuck.  It sheds light to understanding what we truly want.  I have said time and time again I want to be a better version of myself.   So, I am left to wonder after this detox — will that be true?  It seems preposterous to think of abstaining for longer, maybe forever, but it also seems I haven’t explored the one pressing question: Why not?

I encourage anyone who abstains to spend time thinking about re-entry.  What new patterns or habits will you bring with you?  Will any of this stick?  Or does Feb. 1 come along and we pat ourselves on the back and say, ‘Go me’ and we wait until next Jan. 1 to do it all over again.

Food for thought.